Jokes On Me

There are things in life where you can only wish to own. Things that are never meant to be. As the saying goes, you can never have everything. There is this boy. He took my heart away. I wanted him very much badly. Obsessively and definitely very very badly. But he is meant to NOT be mine. && I could very much accept that after years of defeat. But the life had to go and play a joke on me. Life gave him to me. Finally after years of fighting and failure. This is the worst thing I have ever encountered. The most evil joke ever. Life took him away from me in a matter of 1 - 2 months. I hope I've humoured you and everyone else. To let me feel like the luckiest girl, to be thankful and to feel like I have won & that I deserved to be happy only to find that in the end, I LOST before I could have won. I can barely feel anything right now. This numbness fills every part of my body. I can't feel happiness, I can't feel sadness, I can't feel anger, I can't feel peace. All my feelings are gone. All but the pain inside. Which is the only thing running through my veins. My chest heaves. It hurts and there is nothing I can do to ease the pain. My head hurts from trying to shove it back inside. My eyes wells up every now and then but I fight to hold it in. I know, that if ONE tear falls, all hell breaks loose. For now, I shall hold on to every piece of myself. To continue standing. To ignore all pain, because there is not cure.

HAHAHA, JOKES ON ME!

xoxo, ever yours,
Virginie Laurency.